muni muni

(started writing this on a Wednesday...finished it the following day...hehe)

It's wednesday...my favorite day of the week...yey!!!

My day has been uneventful but it's ok...I feel good 'cause I'm wearing my favorite red shirt, my corduroy skirt, my ultra hip black sandals and my erap beaded wrist band...haha...mic na lang pwede na ako mgrock concert...haha!!!(babaw!)

Pardon me for my melodramatic entry yesterday. Looks like my "woe is me" mode didn't last very long 'cause after whining about how pathetic my writing is, I find myself writing an entry again. 'Guess should stop writing to please other people...I write to please myself (that doesn't sound very nice...haha!).

This afternoon while I was trying to look busy at work I came across this online library...got to browse through some of the books that I was supposed to have read in college...haha...and one of my favorite books that I didn't get to completely read when I was in college was James Joyce's The Dubliners. It's a collection of short stories set in...well obviously...Dublin..haha! What I find interesting about this book is that all the short stories run along the same theme which is "paralysis".For some strange and morbid reason I have always found this theme fascinating...even romantic...so this afternoon I re-read two of the the short stories from this book, Eveline and Araby. For those who took Humanities 1 in U.P and owns a copy of the book Prism, Araby would be a familiar story, Eveline on the other hand is less popular. It is a tragic story of a woman who chose to stay in her miserable situation despite being given an opportunity to escape and live a happy life with the man who loved her. Why am I talking about these stories...well somehow I know how these sad characters felt in these stories. I'm not saying that I am paralyzed living a miserable life and I badly need an escape...it's just that there are times when I find myself wanting to break free and fly...but I end up being paralyzed with fear of the unknown...so I just decide to stay in the nest.

At 26, there are a lot of things that I should've already experienced or gone through...people my age(or even younger) around me are going places...taking on important jobs...starting families...living independently...partying and enjoying life while I remain in this safe haven of mine...well not that I'm complaining...I'm thankful that God hasn't placed me in a really uncomfortable situation 'cause nothing beats the comfort I have in here but I guess the problem is that it's too comfortable. When I hear about how the people around me, like my sister or my friends, experience all these "exciting" things like traveling...or living on their own...falling in love...or even having their hearts broken...getting a promotion...pursuing graduate studies...getting married and having babies, I start looking at myself and wonder...should I be experiencing all these things too??? I feel like a retard at 26...haha! I know God has everything planned and everything will happen in His perfect time...but I'm just a bit worried...could it be that God is already calling on me to leave the nest and fly but not hear it...or I could even be resisting it??? How do I know when to jump? If I jump will I already have what it takes for me to not fall flat on my face?