My Deepest Layer

Disclaimer: Don't get me wrong...this is not a self-loathing segment of my blog...haha! I mentioned about the journal topics thingy from the websites I found...this is all for arts' sake...haha! I LOVE MYSELF (most of the time...hehe!)Just wanna try out those sparks and see if I can use them for my blog.


What is my deepest layer? I'm afraid if I write about my deepest layer the people who read this and personally know me may be turned off by the real me if I decide to become totally honest about my deepest layer. But I don't know...I guess sooner or later people find out anyway...for all I know it may already be showing through my facade without me knowing it.

I think I'm depraved. I actually think I'm the worst kind. I may look all pleasant and nice on the outside but I'm terribly mean on the inside...haha! I think I'm very selfish and egocentric (which is actually one and the same...haha!) I sometimes think that the whole world revolves around me and everything that is happening is all about me. I also think that I'm overly emotional...bordering on being manic depressive. I get depressed for no apparent reason...at times I even 'cause myself to be depressed by thinking about negative things...I know it's insane but it's true. I'm extremely passionate it's no longer good...when I love something or someone I do everything to immerse myself in it to the point that I already sound fanatical. I'm insecure...I don't like myself very much. I'm lazy...I don't have much ambition and drive in life.

I've shed all my top layers...now it's clear why I'm alone...haha! Seriously...I don't know whether writing about this is such a good idea...but I think it's important that put it all out here. Of course my deepest layer is not all negative...I know I also have good things in me but I decided to focus on my deepest and darkest layer 'cause this is the layer not seen. So...now that I've shown my deepest layer...would you still like me???