left behind

I just got home from one of my bestfriends' farewell party....well i actually didn't make it to the party proper because of work but I made them wait for me so that I'd get to see her for the last time before she leaves on Tuesday. Now I'm really sad:( What made it more sad is that I didn't even get to express to her how sad I am to see her go...I couldn't cry when I said goodbye to her so I ended up crying alone in my car on my way home. I know I shouldn't feel sad...I should actually be very happy for her 'cause I know how much she's wanted to leave the country and work abroad...but I just hate losing friends...I know "losing her" is not the correct phrase since she'll still be around...just that she won't be on my side of the world...but she'll be very far away and I know things will eventually change...she'll have her world and I'll have mine...and once again...like so many times before...I'm losing a bestfriend. (looks like I'm gonna have to look for another one:()

What is it with me??? I'm crazy to think that everything that's happening is about me but I'm starting to take this personally...hehe...why is it that everyone whom I considered as my bestfriend has left me??? Well of course they didn't do it intentionally...I just hate that I always get left behind. One of these days I'm gonna be the one doing the leaving.