Sad Song

Don't think that I just had my heart broken because of the somewhat depressing entry that I had the other day and this song that I'm about to post. I was buying dinner last night and I heard this song over the radio. It's not that this song had any special meaning to me...it just reminded me of college...hehe. This song is really sad T.T


The Day You Went Away (Wendy Matthews)
Hey, does it ever make you wonder
what's on my mind?
Hey, I was only ever running back to your side
I never cried, I just watched my life go by
It's just a pack of lies,'cause you're leaving me behind

Why, after this long is there nothing
I'll keep, oh, I can shoutyou'll pretend you're falling asleep
I live a lie, yeah, believing that you're mineI
t's just a waste of time'cause you're leaving me behind

[Chorus]Hey, there's not a cloud in the sky
It's as blue as your goodbyeand I thought that it would rain
on a day like today
Hey, there's not a cloud in sight
it's as blue as your blue goodbye
and I thought that it would rain
the day you went away

Hey, does it ever make you wonder what's on my mind
Ooh yeah, I was only ever running back to your side
[Chorus]Hey, there's not a cloud in the sky
it's as blue as your goodbye
and I thought that it would rain
on a day like today
Hey, there's not a cloud in sight
it's as blue as your blue goodbye
and I thought that it would rain
the day you went away

He's on the buses, and the aeroplanes
with some groceries and a sleeping bag

warning: may make you gag

It's been a long while since I last wrote an entry in here...I've been a bad blogger...been spending most of my time in my other "blogs" hehe! I got hooked on the different features that they have...but eventually grew tired of them...they've just become too complicated, I realized that I miss blogging the old fashioned way which is blogging with just WORDS. Words is what made blogging really fascinating in the first place. You get to know all about these different kinds of people by just reading their words and what they've got to say.

Anyway...what's new with my life??? well I was supposed to fly to the US next month but it wouldn't push through 'cause we couldn't get the right papers I needed to fly to the US and work there...so we decided to postpone my trip for next school year. Although I won't be flying to the US I'll still be flying soon...I will be flying to Malaysia for a mission trip...finally!!! I'm pretty sure this would push through 'cause we've already got the tickets ^^ I actually have no idea what we'll be doing there...all I know is that it's a mission exposure...I'm excited and worried at the same time but I'm more excited *^^*

I can't believe that August is over...it's the beginning of the "BER" months....YAY!!! The air would be a little bit more chilly and the streets would be a lot brighter...my favorite time of the year is coming soon...hehe...and I'm still single T.T haha! It's funny...last week I spoke with a number of people who are pushing me to start looking for somebody to marry...they say it like it's the easiest thing to do in the world...haha! Right now I'm really not looking forward to getting married...I'm gonna have to do with finding prospects...which I think is the most difficult part since I really don't get much chance to meet people. I tried chatting the other day...I met an interesting guy which I think is a big thing since it's not easy to find people you can really TALK to in chat rooms nowadays...he seemed interested in getting to know me...we had a really cool conversation he talked about his pet cat and his nephews(he even shared some of their photos with me)...I talked about my love for dogs and my adorable nephews...we decided to talk again the following day...the first time we spoke he asked for my photo...i told him I don't share my photo with people i just met, the following day he asked for it again...i decided that it'll be easier if i show him how i look to spare myself from further pain in the future for being ditched for being not pretty enough...so i showed him my photo...he was polite...he told me I was "cute"...I don't know what that means...what does "cute" mean? Does it mean that I look like a puppy that he would want to take home and play with...or does it mean that I look like a little girl in pig tails...or maybe it just means I'm not pretty enough...I'm just cute. A cute face doesn't launch a thousand ships...cute is good when you're 5 or 6...it isn't right if you're 27...haha!

I feel so pathetic for even worrying about this...heck I feel pathetic talking about trying to meet guys in chat rooms*sighs* I bet the people I know who'll get to read this will feel really sorry for me and think that I've gone crazy for writing about it...well I haven't gone crazy...I think...hehe...I'm just lonely I guess.

NOTE: Don't tell me I didn't warn you...

I'm back

(Sorry...i've been MIA...been spending most of my time in my other blog...*^^*)
Can't believe July is about to end...it'll be the start of the "ber" months in a month...wahhhhhhh I don't wanna grow another year older...hahaha!

I'll be 28 in December...that's toooooo OLD!!! I wonder where I'm gonna be celebrating my next birthday...hmmmm....would I still be here in the Philippines....or will I get to celebrate it in WINTER WONDERLAND....hmmmmm...I wonder . Things are all up in the air right now...the people in Illinois are clueless as to how they're gonna get me there *sighs* so I'm just gonna have to wait and see. It's getting a bit frustrating 'cause it seems like we're all in the dark not knowing what to do next...part of me is still somehow hopeful that things'll work out and I'm gonna get to leave and earn dollars and go on a trip to Europe when the school year ends...haha..but the other part of me is about to give up, worried that I may end up getting really depressed if things don't work out the way we're hoping it would. Well I guess it's all in God's hands right now...all I should do is wait patiently.

We're having a party this afternoon in celebration of my mom's kidney transplant's 10th anniversary. I'll be a thanksgiving party for God's faithfulness to my family. It's been 10 years would you believe that??? I've grown really old...haha!

Enlightened

I had the interview this morning...I'm quite overwhelmed about how excited they were about having me in their school...I don't understand why...but they do and it's really cool!
I'm more excited now than scared...it's not yet final though. Somebody will be calling me this Thursday or Friday to finalize things and if things go well I'll be leaving next month.

Last night I prayed for God to enlighten me and it's amazing that while I was talking with Pastor Lance this morning everything became clear...I know God has a reason why He's sending me there and I should say I'm excited to find out what it is ^^

Dooms day

Tomorrow's the day I'm gonna have to make a decision that may entirely change the course of my life. I have been praying for this for the past week...I was pretty sure I finally overcame the fear that has been keeping me paralyzed but tonight it's back...probably because tomorrow I'm gonna be waking up really early in the morning...go to our meeting place and make a decision. I don't think I'm gonna be able to sleep tonight...but I know I have to or else I'm gonna feel even worse when I wake up tomorrow morning. I wish I can ask somebody to make this decision for me *sighs*

If I go through with it...I'm left with a month to prepare myself before I leave for the US...would that be enough??? I know I've got nothing to lose...and everything to gain...I guess I'm just a big wuss. What if I'm not good enough...I'm worried about being eaten alive by my students there T.T It has been a long time since I last taught in a classroom...I wonder if I can still do it.

It's just one year...I may like it...I may hate it...it's just one year so I might as well take the risk.

confused

I prayed for this to happen...but now that it's happening I'm terrified. I know that leaving would give me an opportunity to live independently...explore the world and just enjoy life...but leaving would also mean being away from my comfort zone...away from the people who matter and having to face the unknown. Everyone around me is excited for me...it's making it more difficult for me to decide for myself...God I need wisdom...I know the logical answer is "Go" but I wanna hear it from you...I know you're the one who made this happen...give me the strength and the courage to just go for it.

exciting

First...I chicken out from auditioning for Philippine Idol...now...I'm sorry to inform you that I would no longer be going to China T.T ...there goes my plan for living out loud and being a world mover huh?!? I got a message from our pastor and he told me that they didn't get enough people to join the team *sighs* I was so psyched about going on my first mission trip...well I guess it isn't time yet. Since I won't be going on the trip and I've already raised quite a large amount of money...I guess I'm just gonna use all of it for shopping...hahaha!!!

It's interesting though how exciting opportunities come my way when I least expect them...I got a call from a family friend of ours informing me that her sister, who is a teacher in the states, will be coming to Manila with their pastor to scout for teachers...well I haven't really been thinking about teaching in the states primarily because hooking up with an agency...applying and getting all the necessary papers and certifications is quite pricey and I'm actually satisfied with my current job...but what's interesting about this offer is that I got it the morning after I prayed to God to give me a chance to explore the world and be a bit more independent...that was a quick answer huh? haha! Well I don't have the job yet and I'll still be going through a couple of interviews so I can't say my prayer has officially been answered...but I'm quite excited...and horrified at the same time. I think it would be great if I get the job and I get to go to the states to work but if I get the job that means I'll be leaving in a couple of months...yikes!!! Well I don't know what God's plan is for me...right now I'm open to anything...if He says I can go to the states then wonderful...if He says I stay...then I'll stay and continue seeking His will.