March is over???

Another month is over??? It's scary to think that as you grow older, time flies faster...the ageing process goes double time...hehe! But I think this is good...not noticing the days fly by means that I'm not bored with my life and that I've got better things to do than watch days fly by...I'm so proud of myself!!! hehe!

It's so sad...in my previous entry I was trying to be deep and reflective...then I got a comment saying: "do you want free porn?" WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I hate those spammers heartlessly leaving messages like those in blogs of people desperately seeking for compassion from others and answers to questions in life T.T (hahaha!)

I'm feeling much better now. Got some affirmation from my boss when I submitted my revisions of our advanced module...she said she was impressed ^^ YAY!!! This coming Sunday we're gonna be celebrating our church's anniversary so I've been preparing for the praise and worship which I'm gonna be leading...in the process of preparing for it I realized that there's no reason for me to complain about my life...looking back...this past year has been filled with God's blessings and teachings...I know it may seem hard to notice but I've grown (right? hehe).

Everybody's Changing

Everybody's Changing by Keane
You say you wander your own land
But when I think about it
I don't see how you can
You're aching, you're breaking
And I can see the pain in your eyes
Cos everybody's changing
And I don't know why.
So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move
just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and
remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same.
You're gone from here
Soon you will disappear
Fading into beautiful light
cause everybody's changing
And I don't feel right.
So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move
just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and
remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same.

This is exactly how I'm feeling right now. I'm not sure whether it's because of my odd working schedule but it seems like things are happening around me yet I remain still. My nephews are growing up...my kids in church are getting older...my younger sis has is now living on her own in the U.S....my friends are getting married...some are breaking up...some are having babies...some are getting promotions...travelling.....I stay the same.

Sometimes it scares me...I'm having a hard time catching up...I wish for the world to slow down...but it won't. I should be somewhere by now...I'm not sure whether I've somehow advanced...I wish someone would tell me. Looking around...hearing what other people say about what they think of me...of what I do...my job...my appearance...I often get the notion that I haven't moved.

Pardon me for sounding this way...I'm ok...I'm just thinking.

CRASH

I'm supposed to be sleeping now but I don't feel like sleeping yet. Another week has just started and I'm feeling a bit BLAH...this isn't a good way to start the week.

I think watching "Crash" wasn't a very good idea...I thought it was cool that they're showing it on Lifestyle...it was a very beautiful movie but it was just way too depressing. I've cried many times while watching movies... but I usually cried happy tears...with this movie I cried sad tears...it's like the movie ended leaving you feeling hopeless. I'm not sure whether they meant it to be that way...I think it's supposed to be inspirational...I guess for me it wasn't.

I hope I wouldn't be depressed all week (darn "Crash"!) I really need something inspiring to happen sometime soon T.T

so far so good

This week is going well so far...things are ok and I haven't had any big problems...well it's only Tuesday so a lot can still happen...hehe...but I'm gonna be positive and believe that things will remain fine ^__^

In my previous entry I talked about that friend of mine who was going through serious love problems...well I thought I didn't get through to her...but I'm soooooo glad to be wrong. She decided to let go...she decided not to go back to her good for nothing boyfriend...hurray!!! Right now she's still grieving...it's starting to sink in and according to her she's running out of tears...which is a good sign...i think it won't be long she'll be moving on.

I don't know why I'm so good in giving love advice to my friends...haha...I've never been in a "real" relationship but I guess all the movies and t.v shows I've seen have given me much insight on love...hehe! I wonder what it'd be like once I'm the one having the love problem...would I be as insightful as I think I am or would I end up being like those stupid people I swore I'd never be??? hehe!

NO WORK TODAY

'Had a wonderful, wonderful day shopping!!! I've been dying to go to Divisoria since December and today...thank God for Korean Independence(March 1st- Korean Independence Day)...I got to go...finally!

Being at 168 was divine...it's like being in a place where everything and anything that you can possibly want and love...it was just sooooooooooooo perfect...haha! Although I was totally overwhelmed seeing all those beautiful shoes, bags and other stuff I'm so proud of myself 'cause I was able to control myself from over spending...I only bought what I planned to buy...yay for me! I bought a pair of gorgeous bronze wedge, a girly pair of jeans, a cute wallet and the complete dvd set of "My Name is Kim Sam Soon." I'm happy * ^___^ *

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I have one question to those who've been in love before...you see I have a friend...she's been with her boyfriend for ten years...they were planning to marry this year but they had some really serious problems in their relationship so they broke up. The guy is a JERK...he was abusive ...he's hurt my friend physically due to some anger control problems and paranoia and verbally by making her feel really insecure about how she looks...with all these things you'd think that my friend was more than happy to be rid of him but that's not the case...the girl (my friend) is still hoping they'd get back together because she feels that he is the one for her (even after being treated like a punching bag)...for the past few weeks I've been trying to talk my friend into just letting go and completely forgetting this big JERK but no matter how hard I try I can't seem to convince her and it's making me really frustrated. My other friends who've "BEEN IN LOVE" told me that I couldn't possibly understand her situation 'cause I've never been in a serious relationship...they say that if you're in love you're willing to sacrifice and just give the world for the one that you love even if he's not treating you nicely...WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD??? I'm talking about women who have earned their degrees and have decent jobs...I cannot understand how they can think this way....GRRRRRRRR!!!!!! If being in love means being stupid allowing somebody to hurt you and make you think lowly of yourself...then no thanks...I wouldn't want to ever be in love!

This week I realized how blessed I am in my life. I've been whining about how adventureless my life is and complaining about how pathetic I am for being loveless but other people actually are having it worse. I feel so sad seeing people just totally insecure about themselves. I'm not actually a very big fan of myself too but I feel so blessed to have a strong God behind me who constantly reminds me of how beautiful I am because I am His. I can't say that I've changed how I feel about my looks...I still think I'm faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar from being attractive but God is changing me little by little...I still feel pathetic for not having a boyfriend but I thank God because He always reminds me that He's given me all the love that I'll ever need...I wish all girls feel this way...I wish my friend realizes this...I wish I will be able to send out this message to my kids in church who are starting to have crushes...actually most of them are wanting to have boyfriends and girlfriends already...anyway...i hope my life would make them realize that JESUS' LOVE IS ENOUGH.

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I'm planning on going on a missions trip to China...please pray for me:)