(tell me why) I don't like Mondays...

I feel so awful for whining about how miserable my life is. One of my colleagues handed me a note telling me that she could no longer work in our company because she needs to go home to the province to take care of her dad who was just diagnosed with colon cancer. I have a perfectly healthy and comfortable life...my family may not be perfect and we may all be getting into each other's nerves but we're ok...we're living well...actually we're living a good life...I feel so ungrateful for whining about difficult life is

***

This morning I was awakened by the voices of my mom and dad fighting...I'm already 26 years old and I should no longer act like a kid trembling in fear whenever I hear these things at home...but I still do. I still cry in my room praying to God that it'll all just go away. By this time I should've grown accustomed to these things since these things normally happen in families and these things have happened in the past and based on our experience the tension usually dies down and we all go back to our normal and happy selves...but I guess my fear lies in the possiblity that one day things will not go back to their normal selves...I guess I'm afraid that one day the fighting would not stop.

***

Pardon me for being overly dramatic...it's Monday...my least favorite day of the week...so I have an excuse to feel crappy...hehe!!!

Fix You (Coldplay)

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

High up above or down below
When you too in love to let it go
If you never try you'll never know
Just watch and learn

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

great great weekend

I'm having such a blast...I don't want this weekend to end:( It's been a long time since I last had a relaxed-action packed weekend (wow...that's an oxymoron...hehe)...usually have stressful-action packed weekends with things to do at home and in church but this weekend I'm just enjoying it for myself:)

***

Last night I had a great time with my colleagues when we went to one of my colleague's band gigs...I've never been really that into ska and reggae but I'm starting to like it. I was so amused watching all those hard core reggae and ska people dressed for the night in their horizontally striped polo shirts and their "baston" pants...for the guys and white shirts, short plaid skirts and black stockings for the girls...bouncing up and down...swaying their arms side to side to the beat. My friend's band played Tainted Love and More Today than Yesterday which was really really cool. There were three other bands who performed...there were a couple of cuties who played for the last band which me liked too bad they are based in Bulacan so being a groupie would totally be out of the question...hehe! I noticed that almost all of the girls in the gig last night had bangs...hehe...I'm thinking about getting a hair cut and getting bangs which would really be rockin' considering that I've got VIOLET hair...haha...but then again...maybe not...I'd end up looking like Kelly Osborne...hehe! Went home at around 3 in the morning...wohooooo...im starting to sound like a normal 26 year old WOMAN...charing!

***

Today mom and I had a date:) We were supposed to go to Greenhills but sadly one part of the shopping center burned down...the traffic was so bad so we decided to turn back and go to Greenbelt. We got there at around 2:30...unfortunately Batman started playing at around 2:20 so we decided to wait for the next showing which was 5:10...we bought our tix and went out for late lunch...'had good good pasta at Cafe Bola (YUM)...saw my ultimate college crush passing by...hehe...I didn't say "hi" i was too shy (it rhymes...hehe!)...went to Music One (thought about buying Coldplay's newest CD)...went to power books (ooooh it was HEAVEN!!!)...went crazy going through all the titles on the fiction section (another rhyme...haha!)...then we headed back in time for BATMAN. When we got out after the film it was raining like crazy...we had to buy umbrellas at the mall and we swam to get to the car...haha! We were soaking wet when we got to the car but it was fun...haha...well i've always loved walking under the rain even if it means getting my favorite violet pair of shoes wet (just pray mama won't get sick...yikes!).

Christian Bale is soooooooooooooo HOT!!! I would have to agree that this is the best Batman film ever...actually after watching you'd think that all the previous Batman films were all just a waste of film and they ought to remake all of them with Christian Bale as Batman.

Should get to bed now...have to wake up early for church tomorrow....vavooo!!!

BORED and EMO

It's not good being idle...I know I always complain about work but not doing anything actually makes me go craaaaaaaazzzy!!! I'm bored to death right now and I'm tired of staring at my pc monitor surfing aimlessly(I'm typing without looking right now...haha!). Everyone here at work have been going crazy over this web site where you watch all these funny and stupid videos...I tried watching them but I grew tired of it quickly...I went through my list of friends in friendster and I've been snooping into their present lives and as expected I'm once again feeling a bit depressed about my not so exciting life...haha! Still have 20 mins left 'til my next class...I'M SOOOOOOO BORED!!!

As I've mentioned, I spent my time wisely, looking for old friends at friendster...hehe...and I came across some of my college friends. I felt kinda bad...they were all saying kind and not so kind words about each other on their testis and none of them has even written me a testi:( Was I that insignificant to my so-called "friends?" I think what I've been afraid of for a long time is now coming true...I'm finally seeing the results of my not being a good friend:( I think this'll be the fulfillment of what I've always believed I'd end up as...ALONE and MISERABLE:( *emo mode*

I WANNA SLEEP!!!

I'm sooooo sleepy and I have a bad case of gas(haha) and hyperacidity. The weather isn't helping at all...it's raining like crazy outside and it makes me wanna just go home and hide under the blanket and have a goodnight sleep:(

Woke up this morning at 3:30Am (slept at 1AM) to bring my grams and my aunt to the airport...had breakfast at 5:30...went back to sleep...went to work. No wonder my day's all messed up...hehe!

It's good thing that my class schedule nowadays is a lot better than my past schedules...at present I'm having a 2 hour break (wohooooo! haha!) which I wisely spent by surfing the net and blogging.

Saw a pic of the new Superman...and did I see it right???The new Superman will be wearing low-rise trunks...haha! Seriously, it really looks like he's wearing hipster trunks (check CNN.com). I also don't like the idea of Kate Bosworth playing Lois Lane...well I never really liked Kate Bosworth...I have nothing against her...I just think she's boring. I think she's too pretty to actually have substance...haha!!! Well I guess it isn't a good idea to judge the upcoming Superman movie this early...Superman has always been one of my favorite fictional characters andI think Christopher Reeve was actually my first crush so perhaps I should give it a chance despite the hipster trunks and Kate Bosworth.

I WANNA WATCH BATMAN BEGINS!!!

Another week:(

Another week has begun (buhuhuhu). I'm in the office right now and I have to act out again. Right now I'm pretending to be busy by writing an entry on my blog...hehe! I still have to go over my teachers' reports but that can wait...there are far more important things for me to accomplish such as writing this entry:)

I had a wonderful weekend. It was hectic as usual but it's the kind of hectic that I like. As usual spent most of my time in church. It started early Saturday morning...had to go to church to watch over my kids who were practicing for their father's day presentations...stayed in church until 2pm and I went straight to the mall to get something for my dad and my younger sister. Had some really good buys...got to buy a really cool shirt for my dad as my father's day present...bought my sister 2 pairs of earrings and a vcd copy of "Happy Together" (as a tribute to Kris Aquino's new found love..wishing her all the best and eternal love...haha!) of course I bought something for myself too...finally got to buy the sheer blouse I've been eyeing for the past months...saw some really cool satin pj's, was tempted to buy 2 pairs of pj bottoms but I decided to get just one...for now...hehe...and lasltly I finally got myself a copy of Hero...I've been meaning to watch it, we actually have a dvd copy but I'm too lazy to go to my parents' room and watch it so I just got myself a vcd copy which I can watch in the comfort of my own bedroom. After spending two hours in the mall I went home...got ready for our dinner out with the whole gang (my big...usually happy family) We pigged out (should i say fished out??? hehe) on fresh seafoods(grabe ang sarap talaga!!!) I was supposed to be in church 8am the following morning but I had a hard time waking up so I arrived in church an hour late...hihihi! Our father's day service was really nice. The youth were the ones who participated in the program...there were 5 special numbers (1 dance #, 2 song #'s and 2 skits...hehe) plus the tribute to the dads in church. I think they actually liked it...we gave them these really cool monogramed baseball caps. After the service I had a couple of meetings and then I had lunch with my mom and my dad:) We went home and in the evening the whole gang (my big...usually happy family) came to our house for another session of pigging out...hehe...had a rockin jamming session with my nephews and cousins...hehe (phew that was a long recap of my weekend!)

I'm really enjoying my time with my kids in church. I'm so blessed with how passionate they are to serve God... reminds me of my youth (not that I'm already old). I would like to believe that I'm still passionate about my faith but their passion is really different...it's like they have this intense hunger and awe for and of God which most Christians who grow up in church lose when they become adults. At times church just becomes a part of your normal weekly routine that we stop expecting for new things to happen...and when new things do happen instead of embracing them...we tend to be scared of them...but these kids...their eyes sparkle when they sing, play instruments or just plainly talk about going to church and singing and playing for GodRight now I really find joy in seeing how these kids are growing...and I pray that God will make me worthy to be their adviser...only God knows how much growing up I still need to do...hehe!

important me...haha!

These past few days have been really action-packed...it has been a rollercoaster of emotions (how cliche???) for me and I'd have to admit I'm a bit exhausted...I desperately need some time off...I wanna go to the beach!!!

My weekend was perfect. It started off really early. I had to wake up early to begin cooking for my aunt and grams' joint birthday and despidida party. It was exhausting but it was fun...I love the fulfillment I get in preparing scrumptious dishes...it's like having people at your fingertips...you're able to hypnotize them with your good cooking and make them do anything you want them to do...HEHE!!!...smells like witchcraft...hehe! Too bad I don't get tips for it...should start demanding for some! After cooking I had to head off to church even before the party started...I saw Reuben Morgan's worship concert. It was awesome (awrsome:as ozzy's would say it) It was so wonderful worshipping with soooooo many people it reminded me of my experience in australia a couple of years ago. It's a feeling you can't really explain in words...it's just like being really free of any worries and just being focused on God's glory...it was really awrsome!!! The following day was also perfect...finally got to rest...didn't have a lot to do in church...spent my afternoon napping until 7 in the evening...hehe!

Monday was just ok...it would have been better though if we didn't have to work...had a melodramatic telenovela-"esque" evening worthy of airtime on ABS CBN...haha...I think I deserve an URIAN...I'd probably beat Claudine Baretto in Milan and Judy Ann in Sabel...it was soooo horrible...I hate having these kinds of moments...they break my heart...but I can't do anything about...at times like these you face reality...life isn't all rosy and peachy...life sucks sometimes (most of the time for some)...makes you realize that all you can really hold on to is God.

It's amazing how God makes things brighter after the storm...the following day we didn't have work...haha!(I'm soooo easy) The circuit breaker in our floor got toast we couldn't work all day...haha...so we had a field trip at the mall...haha!

Today has been busy...I'm back to my adult self again...we're looking for 20 more teachers and beautiful me would have to be the one to look for them...oh I'm sooooo important...HAHA!

my favorite day

It's friday...my favorite day of the week:) Oohh I'm so excited about my weekend...it's gonna be a hectic yet fun weekend for me.

Tomorrow I'm gonna be cooking all day. We're hosting a surprise party for my grandmother and I'm one of the designated cooks. I'm gonna be preparing 2 kinds of pasta (carbonara and baked macaroni) and 2 kinds of salad (potato salad and fruit salad). I feel a bit guilty 'cause I won't get to stay in the party 'cause I'll be watching a concert with some of my kids in church...but I'm thinking no one's even gonna notice that I'm not in the party so it's ok for me to not attend right??? right??? Am I bad for not attending???

I'm watching Reuben Morgan's concert tomorrow...YIPEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! I know it's gonna be awesome...too bad not all my kids will be able to go 'cause the tickets are bit too pricey for them:( I'm still calling on sponsors....is there anyone out there who'll be willing to sponsor my kids??? (ticket price:420 pesos)

This afternoon my boss had good/bad news for me (depending on how you look at it...hehe!)...she said that a Korean company is requiring 500 of their employees to take English classes and they checked with our administrator as to whether we'll be able to handle their employees. Starting July 4, 300-500 students will be enrolling in our company...thinking about it drives me crazy...starting next week I'll be interviewing people because we're gonna be needing more teachers for us to be able to handle these new students...this means I'm gonna be babbling for hours on the phone interviewing people...missing lunch and dinner...even classes to entertain applicants...these coming weeks will be stressful for me...I'd be dead tired before this month ends:( God give me the strength to last this month...hehe!

My Deepest Layer

Disclaimer: Don't get me wrong...this is not a self-loathing segment of my blog...haha! I mentioned about the journal topics thingy from the websites I found...this is all for arts' sake...haha! I LOVE MYSELF (most of the time...hehe!)Just wanna try out those sparks and see if I can use them for my blog.


What is my deepest layer? I'm afraid if I write about my deepest layer the people who read this and personally know me may be turned off by the real me if I decide to become totally honest about my deepest layer. But I don't know...I guess sooner or later people find out anyway...for all I know it may already be showing through my facade without me knowing it.

I think I'm depraved. I actually think I'm the worst kind. I may look all pleasant and nice on the outside but I'm terribly mean on the inside...haha! I think I'm very selfish and egocentric (which is actually one and the same...haha!) I sometimes think that the whole world revolves around me and everything that is happening is all about me. I also think that I'm overly emotional...bordering on being manic depressive. I get depressed for no apparent reason...at times I even 'cause myself to be depressed by thinking about negative things...I know it's insane but it's true. I'm extremely passionate it's no longer good...when I love something or someone I do everything to immerse myself in it to the point that I already sound fanatical. I'm insecure...I don't like myself very much. I'm lazy...I don't have much ambition and drive in life.

I've shed all my top layers...now it's clear why I'm alone...haha! Seriously...I don't know whether writing about this is such a good idea...but I think it's important that put it all out here. Of course my deepest layer is not all negative...I know I also have good things in me but I decided to focus on my deepest and darkest layer 'cause this is the layer not seen. So...now that I've shown my deepest layer...would you still like me???

closet writer

I'm loafing again here in the office...trying to look busy and managerial...haha!!! My next class is in 22 minutes...still have a lot of time to babble in here.

Came across these really cool sites about journaling( www.shirazad.com/write/topics.htm# ; www.writingfix.com ; http://diarist.net/spark)...there is this site that would give you daily sparks to inspire you to write about something on your journal...the sparks they provide are really interesting...they would wanna make you really write...write and write. I'm thinking about using some of their sparks for my blog 'cause these blogs are starting to get too predictable...wanna see how creative I can get using these websites.

I'll be watching Reuben Morgan's (Hillsong worship leader) concert this Saturday. I'm really excited to worship in the concert. Too bad not all my kids in church would be able to join me 'cause most of them don't have the budget to get the tickets...I'm praying I'd find somebody who's still selling the 150 tickets...that way I'd be able to buy them tickets...CALLING OUT TO PEOPLE WHO STILL HAVE 150 TICKETS OR PEOPLE WHO HAVE A GOOD HEART TO DONATE MONEY OR GIVE US FREE 420 TICKETS FOR SATURDAY JUST FEEL FREE TO SMS ME ON MY CELL NUMBER 0916-2588242

i've got red hair!!!

It's been a long time since I last wrote an entry in here...well I've been quite lazy to collect my thoughts and write something worth reading...I think it's because of the weather.

Summer has ended...it's officially the rainy season. Last Saturday was a very clear indication season change....it rained like crazy last Friday...it rained so hard that what usually was a 30 minute drive from my church to my house turned into a 3 hour drive. IT WAS INSANE!!!

I'm officially a red head...hehe! I've been dreaming of having red hair for a long time but I couldn't gather enough courage to actually go through it...yesterday I did. I'm no longer a hair color virgin...haha! At first I was terrified of getting it done 'cause the stylist might give me some crazy color...but it was actually good...I'm really loving it. Well it's really not totally red...it's more auburn (love this word...hehe) than red.